Understanding the Grief of Euthanising a Pet

For many pet owners, making the decision to euthanise a beloved animal can be one of the hardest moments of their lives. Experts say the grief can be every bit as intense as losing a close family member.

A Personal Story of Loss

Fiona Koenig was 22 when she faced the painful choice of putting her Burmese cat, Artemis, to sleep. After months of inconclusive tests and her pet’s health rapidly declining, she felt she had no other option.

Now a Newcastle/Awabakal-based counsellor specialising in pet loss, Koenig recalls her grief as “really complicated.”

“I wouldn’t let myself feel rage or anger because I thought, ‘you’re not supposed to be this upset. It’s just a cat.’”

She says society’s tendency to dismiss pet loss often makes mourning even harder.

Why Pets Matter So Deeply

“They provide unconditional love, stability, and help ease loneliness. Even gazing into your dog’s eyes releases oxytocin – the cuddle hormone – while patting them boosts serotonin and dopamine,” she explains.

Koenig adds that pets are part of our most ordinary and intimate moments:

“They sleep in your bed, walk with you to the bathroom, sit with you at breakfast. When they’re gone, the absence is everywhere.”

How Euthanasia Works

Veterinarian Dr Jackie Campbell, who specialises in palliative care, says more families are choosing end-of-life care as pets live longer with chronic conditions.

Some clinics offer private spaces for families, while others provide at-home euthanasia for a gentler farewell.

Deciding When It’s Time

Dr Campbell says the hardest part is knowing when the moment is right.

“The most important thing is that we don’t make the decision too early, and equally that we don’t make it too late.”

Quality-of-life assessments can help, but she emphasises that the decision is best made in close consultation with a trusted vet.

The Hidden Weight of Grief

Dr Rohlf says pet loss often brings “disenfranchised grief” – a form of grief not always recognised by society. Phrases like “it’s just a dog” or “you can get another” can minimise deep feelings of pain.

Koenig adds that many people struggle with returning to an empty home, or even find themselves crying in the supermarket pet food aisle.

“It’s a real reason to feel real, deep grief,” she says.

Finding Ways to Heal

Experts recommend:

• Allow yourself to grieve — accept that your feelings are valid.
• Seek meaning — reflect on the joy and companionship your pet brought.
• Reach out for support — connect with understanding friends, family, or services such as Griefline or Lifeline.

“Grief is a natural and normal response to losing a loved one. “Think of it as a wound that needs care and attention, and over time, it will begin to heal.”

For palliative care in the Hills Shire area, you can contact local clinics like Baulkham Hills Vet Hospital, Castle Hill Veterinary Hospital, and Rouse Hill Family Vets, which offer compassionate support for end-of-life care, including pain management and comfort.